I said in the previous post that God lead us down this path and I truly believe He did. Every time I got scared, He was there and calmed my nerves--I did not even know why I was scared anymore.
Early in December of 2010 before the phone consultation, I had a major freak out! I just knew we wouldn't be able to come up with the money, something else would need the money or it would all fail and we would have thrown the money in the trash. I was on the verge of backing out, even my husband was concerned with my total change of mind. He did tell me to not make any rash decisions that I was probably just panicking, but still I could see in his eyes that he was uncertain too.
We went to church and I prayed to God that He please give me some sort of sign, something, anything to know that we are doing His will. I finished my pleas and prayers and sat back into the pew--nothing. I felt nothing. No sign, no sense of peace and most of all just as lost as I was before.
Church began, as usual with the procession and then I realized it wasn't "as usual." Along with Father came a couple holding two tiny babies in beautiful white gowns. Suddenly, I felt warmth from within and knew exactly what our decision should be. There was no turning back at that point and I did not want to!
You may think I am a little nutty, but baptisms are not typical during Mass in our church. Most people opt for a private gathering. I could blow that off as coincidence too, but I cannot disregard the sudden warmth and overwhelming feeling of love, safety and peace I felt. Everything looked like it was glowing around me. That is the honest truth and the only way I can explain it.
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