Dr. Wilson was the doctor with the lowest price. Over the summer of 2010, I collected a list of data about Dr. Wilson's reviews and the majority were stellar. Some said his personality was dry, that he was a fast talker, very low key office, and on and on. The one thing that stood out though was the success his patients were experiencing and how highly so many praised him. In fact, I only found one person who was angry because they lost their deposit due to a last minute cancellation that wasn't their fault. I won't make any judgements on this as I am not aware of either side's full story. But one negative in a sea of positives says a lot. Even those who never got pregnant spoke highly of his technique, expertise and quality of his work.
Still $1700 is so low compared to his competitors! Would my husband even consider it? What would he think when I tell him, "hey I found this doctor willing to sew your vas defs back together for less than $2K when almost everyone else is double." It made me remember the "King of Queens" episode where Doug gives his wife Carrie the gift of sight with a BOGO lasiks eye surgery coupon deal!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Mom's Unknowing Hope
My mom is a very good mother and I love her dearly. She along with my dad both thought I was nuts to have another baby after I had the "perfect" family in their eyes. I was just like them, a girl and a boy, just like myself and my brother. They could not comprehend my desire for another baby because it wasn't what they would do.
There was a small part of my motivation to get pregnant a third time just in spite of my mom. To rebel against what she thought I should do, yes I know, immaturity and I was nearly 30. It was my last childish hurrah--cut me a break!
After I was thoroughly punished for my above mentioned actions with a miserable pregnancy (just kidding I know that isn't the reason...I hope!) for number three, my parents had a lot of fuel as to why I should be done. Blood pressure issues, migraines, sickness, exhaustion, and all that came with it. Believe me it wasn't even a hard sell, but you would have thought mom was about to make her millionth sale for an all-inclusive vacation reward.
Anyway, in May of 2010, I was talking to my mom when she told me about this guy she knew who had his vasectomy of 25 years reversed and got his girlfriend pregnant. I couldn't believe it! I revealed probably more than I should have about what I knew of vasectomy reversals--she never questioned it, but if she was paying attention she would have known exactly what I have been thinking.
Well, that got me searching a little differently. Instead of searching for the negative, the failure I started looking into success stories. That led me to nearby clinics and mirco-surgery! Of course, micro-surgery!!
Then I started looking into doctors that offered the procedure at a reduced cost as a ministry. WOW! $5500, $3500 and believe it or not some doctor in Oklahoma charged less that $2000! I could not believe all that I found.
The most important thing I found of all was a new hope. But in Oklahoma???
There was a small part of my motivation to get pregnant a third time just in spite of my mom. To rebel against what she thought I should do, yes I know, immaturity and I was nearly 30. It was my last childish hurrah--cut me a break!
After I was thoroughly punished for my above mentioned actions with a miserable pregnancy (just kidding I know that isn't the reason...I hope!) for number three, my parents had a lot of fuel as to why I should be done. Blood pressure issues, migraines, sickness, exhaustion, and all that came with it. Believe me it wasn't even a hard sell, but you would have thought mom was about to make her millionth sale for an all-inclusive vacation reward.
Anyway, in May of 2010, I was talking to my mom when she told me about this guy she knew who had his vasectomy of 25 years reversed and got his girlfriend pregnant. I couldn't believe it! I revealed probably more than I should have about what I knew of vasectomy reversals--she never questioned it, but if she was paying attention she would have known exactly what I have been thinking.
Well, that got me searching a little differently. Instead of searching for the negative, the failure I started looking into success stories. That led me to nearby clinics and mirco-surgery! Of course, micro-surgery!!
Then I started looking into doctors that offered the procedure at a reduced cost as a ministry. WOW! $5500, $3500 and believe it or not some doctor in Oklahoma charged less that $2000! I could not believe all that I found.
The most important thing I found of all was a new hope. But in Oklahoma???
Can of Worms and New Hope
Vasectomy Reversal. Everything I found was gloomy and very expensive--almost as expensive as adoption and more so minus the tax credits! I was defeated yet determined. Finally, I felt prepared to bring it up to my husband. I had to gear myself up for this, his words following the vasectomy once he was home echoed in my mind: I will not be undoing this or having my balls cut open ever again!
Soooo, you could say he felt very strongly about what he had just went through. I took a chance that those words were result of pain, embarrassment and knowing that I had bawled my eyes out that day while he was at the appointment because I was second guessing our decision. He doesn't know that I actually attempted to call the clinic and stop the procedure, but I got no answer. The baby woke and started screaming to be fed. By the time I was able to oblige the hungry little fellow, I realized it was too late to call and that the procedure would have already begun. It was over and I cried like baby. Anyway, maybe he had had enough time to get over it all.
I was scared to bring up the idea of a reversal, so I started with adoption...AGAIN! He was clearly exasperated with me and simply said no, he could never want to adopt. So I nonchalantly asked him if he had ever heard of a vasectomy being reversed. He was already annoyed about the adoption stuff and said yes he knew they could be reversed, but that it was rarely successful. He went on to tell me that the vasectomy doctor told him about it. He was very irritated so I thought it best to just shut up and least my interest as curiosity and nothing more. Though he had to have known I was thinking about it.
I periodically kept searching about vasectomy reversals and never found anything promising. This was 2009 and early 2010. I had all but gave up on the idea by about May of 2010 when my mom gave me new hope with one simple little story...
Soooo, you could say he felt very strongly about what he had just went through. I took a chance that those words were result of pain, embarrassment and knowing that I had bawled my eyes out that day while he was at the appointment because I was second guessing our decision. He doesn't know that I actually attempted to call the clinic and stop the procedure, but I got no answer. The baby woke and started screaming to be fed. By the time I was able to oblige the hungry little fellow, I realized it was too late to call and that the procedure would have already begun. It was over and I cried like baby. Anyway, maybe he had had enough time to get over it all.
I was scared to bring up the idea of a reversal, so I started with adoption...AGAIN! He was clearly exasperated with me and simply said no, he could never want to adopt. So I nonchalantly asked him if he had ever heard of a vasectomy being reversed. He was already annoyed about the adoption stuff and said yes he knew they could be reversed, but that it was rarely successful. He went on to tell me that the vasectomy doctor told him about it. He was very irritated so I thought it best to just shut up and least my interest as curiosity and nothing more. Though he had to have known I was thinking about it.
I periodically kept searching about vasectomy reversals and never found anything promising. This was 2009 and early 2010. I had all but gave up on the idea by about May of 2010 when my mom gave me new hope with one simple little story...
The Evolution: NO ROOM!, Misunderstandings and a Can of Worms
When my youngest wasn't quite a year old we moved into a larger home. As we settled in to this new, larger space, it became very evident that one little justification we created to somehow explain our choice in a vasectomy was completely invalid. NO ROOM was no longer an issue, in fact moving from a 2 bedroom super tiny ranch to a 2-story home with 4 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms and a decent basement completely wiped out that excuse. In fairness, we had no idea the opportunity to own a much larger home would come to us so quickly. I was a stay at home mom and had no intention of getting a job just yet and everything larger seemed out of our price range.
The need to fill our new home haunted me and after my baby turned one I found myself scouring international and domestic adoption agencies online. I really liked the idea of international adoption and began formulating a safe way to present this to my husband. I had never broached the subject with him before, so I did not know his feelings about it. I was utterly shocked when he strongly opposed the idea, it never occurred to me he would feel so strongly. It must be the money, I thought.
I brought it up about 6 months later and offered to work part time to save the money for the adoption costs, I had researched the tax credits and all that can help offset the cost. He said no with a pained and almost sick look to his face. He said, something to the effect that we have our own kids and we need to give them our time and resources ahead of another child. He just did not know how it would effect our current family situation. So he did not want any more kids. Period.
By now my baby was around 2 1/2 years old I had just been hired into a position that was unexpected and everything was put on the back-burner. The desire for another little one was still strong, but I had lots of distractions. I would still stalk adoption sites and daydream.
Then I had a wacky cycle and my period was late, I prayed and prayed that the vasectomy had failed and that I was pregnant (ironically, I prayed every cycle that my period would never show, but it was always like clockwork). Unfortunately, my period did show up, but not before I put in hours of time into searching the internet looking for vasectomy failures. I stumbled across some articles about how expensive vasectomy reversals were and how often they failed. It had never occurred to me that it could even be reversed! A whole new can of worms opened up.
A big can of worms!
The need to fill our new home haunted me and after my baby turned one I found myself scouring international and domestic adoption agencies online. I really liked the idea of international adoption and began formulating a safe way to present this to my husband. I had never broached the subject with him before, so I did not know his feelings about it. I was utterly shocked when he strongly opposed the idea, it never occurred to me he would feel so strongly. It must be the money, I thought.
I brought it up about 6 months later and offered to work part time to save the money for the adoption costs, I had researched the tax credits and all that can help offset the cost. He said no with a pained and almost sick look to his face. He said, something to the effect that we have our own kids and we need to give them our time and resources ahead of another child. He just did not know how it would effect our current family situation. So he did not want any more kids. Period.
By now my baby was around 2 1/2 years old I had just been hired into a position that was unexpected and everything was put on the back-burner. The desire for another little one was still strong, but I had lots of distractions. I would still stalk adoption sites and daydream.
Then I had a wacky cycle and my period was late, I prayed and prayed that the vasectomy had failed and that I was pregnant (ironically, I prayed every cycle that my period would never show, but it was always like clockwork). Unfortunately, my period did show up, but not before I put in hours of time into searching the internet looking for vasectomy failures. I stumbled across some articles about how expensive vasectomy reversals were and how often they failed. It had never occurred to me that it could even be reversed! A whole new can of worms opened up.
A big can of worms!
Thoughts on Vasectomy
When I hear women or couples discuss getting a vasectomy, I feel a sense of panic, my pulse blares in my ears and head like a siren, I feel light-headed and I want to scream DON'T DO IT!!!! This is only an initial reaction of course and substantiated with my own fears, guilt, regret and frustration. I know that some people feel that a vasectomy is the best thing they ever did and I think that if you have absolutely no question, it probably is right for you. But if you even have the slightest uneasiness about it you should cool your jets and reassess the options further down the road.
If someone would have asked me when we made the decision to get the vasectomy, "are you sure you never want to be pregnant again?" I probably still would have said, "yeah, I think so." It kills me to know that truth. But, had we been forced to wait a mere 3 months (actually 6 weeks when the crazy-lady-prego hormones start to normalize) I would have said no. Not a indecisive, I don't think so, but a loud and positive NO!
You see by 6 weeks, my 3rd degree tears, all four of them, had healed nicely. I no longer had the intense back, leg, thigh and hip pains of pregnancy or the maddening heartburn. I had bounced back faster than either of my other pregnancies and deliveries. I was in complete bliss over my new little prince charming. I was so happy, but the reality that he was my last ate at my heart.
After a vasectomy you are supposed to avoid unprotected sex until the doctor says no sperm is present. At 6 weeks I told my husband, we don't have to--it has been long enough...what guy is going to say no to not wearing a condom?
I was trying to get pregnant, a last ditch effort to cling to what we had thrown away. Unfortunately, it did not work and at the final semen analysis we did he had less that 1 million sperm. They tell you it takes up to 35 ejaculations before all of the live sperm are gone. At our last SA we were well into the upper 40's. It gave me hope that it was a failure.
For the next year, I continued to get my period and my dream of having another baby started to fade and I just accepted what we had done.
So my thoughts are this, make sure your are certain. Give you and your spouse a window of time where you diligently use birth control or a combination of birth control to see if you still feel like the children you have completes your family. If you are still not sure, WAIT! Condoms never killed anyone, aside from very severe latex allergies (okay I made that up) or used in a way unintended.
A short duration of inconvenience is so worth not having a lifetime of regret.
If someone would have asked me when we made the decision to get the vasectomy, "are you sure you never want to be pregnant again?" I probably still would have said, "yeah, I think so." It kills me to know that truth. But, had we been forced to wait a mere 3 months (actually 6 weeks when the crazy-lady-prego hormones start to normalize) I would have said no. Not a indecisive, I don't think so, but a loud and positive NO!
You see by 6 weeks, my 3rd degree tears, all four of them, had healed nicely. I no longer had the intense back, leg, thigh and hip pains of pregnancy or the maddening heartburn. I had bounced back faster than either of my other pregnancies and deliveries. I was in complete bliss over my new little prince charming. I was so happy, but the reality that he was my last ate at my heart.
After a vasectomy you are supposed to avoid unprotected sex until the doctor says no sperm is present. At 6 weeks I told my husband, we don't have to--it has been long enough...what guy is going to say no to not wearing a condom?
I was trying to get pregnant, a last ditch effort to cling to what we had thrown away. Unfortunately, it did not work and at the final semen analysis we did he had less that 1 million sperm. They tell you it takes up to 35 ejaculations before all of the live sperm are gone. At our last SA we were well into the upper 40's. It gave me hope that it was a failure.
For the next year, I continued to get my period and my dream of having another baby started to fade and I just accepted what we had done.
So my thoughts are this, make sure your are certain. Give you and your spouse a window of time where you diligently use birth control or a combination of birth control to see if you still feel like the children you have completes your family. If you are still not sure, WAIT! Condoms never killed anyone, aside from very severe latex allergies (okay I made that up) or used in a way unintended.
A short duration of inconvenience is so worth not having a lifetime of regret.
My Little Prince Charming: Every story as a beginning
Six years ago I gave birth to my third born, a son who was a difficult little traveler, burdensome bunker and an all around pain in the backside before his beautiful little face ever saw the light of day. It was a difficult pregnancy. I was miserable for reasons I can't really even pinpoint, but much of it was emotional and constant physical discomfort.
The delivery wasn't as easy as my previous two, and let me be clear compared to many brave women it was a piece of cake. But come on! Whatever happened to the saying, "third time's the charm" because this pregnancy wasn't. Again, I know many have had it way worse than me and I will confess I am a bit of a baby. Lots of things culminated into the worse mistake of our lives--though at the time we were oblivious.
My parents thought we should be done, "three healthy babies are plenty, why risk a problem?" My doctor thought we should be done--although it turns out his opinion may have been based more on, umm shall we say, personal opinion rather than professional. Heck, after being miserable for almost 9 months, we thought we were done. And there was that darn high blood pressure.
So almost exactly on month after my little charmer was born, my husband had a vasectomy. Snippity-snip--no more babies for us.
Or maybe not...and our story begins.
The delivery wasn't as easy as my previous two, and let me be clear compared to many brave women it was a piece of cake. But come on! Whatever happened to the saying, "third time's the charm" because this pregnancy wasn't. Again, I know many have had it way worse than me and I will confess I am a bit of a baby. Lots of things culminated into the worse mistake of our lives--though at the time we were oblivious.
My parents thought we should be done, "three healthy babies are plenty, why risk a problem?" My doctor thought we should be done--although it turns out his opinion may have been based more on, umm shall we say, personal opinion rather than professional. Heck, after being miserable for almost 9 months, we thought we were done. And there was that darn high blood pressure.
So almost exactly on month after my little charmer was born, my husband had a vasectomy. Snippity-snip--no more babies for us.
Or maybe not...and our story begins.
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