When my youngest wasn't quite a year old we moved into a larger home. As we settled in to this new, larger space, it became very evident that one little justification we created to somehow explain our choice in a vasectomy was completely invalid. NO ROOM was no longer an issue, in fact moving from a 2 bedroom super tiny ranch to a 2-story home with 4 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms and a decent basement completely wiped out that excuse. In fairness, we had no idea the opportunity to own a much larger home would come to us so quickly. I was a stay at home mom and had no intention of getting a job just yet and everything larger seemed out of our price range.
The need to fill our new home haunted me and after my baby turned one I found myself scouring international and domestic adoption agencies online. I really liked the idea of international adoption and began formulating a safe way to present this to my husband. I had never broached the subject with him before, so I did not know his feelings about it. I was utterly shocked when he strongly opposed the idea, it never occurred to me he would feel so strongly. It must be the money, I thought.
I brought it up about 6 months later and offered to work part time to save the money for the adoption costs, I had researched the tax credits and all that can help offset the cost. He said no with a pained and almost sick look to his face. He said, something to the effect that we have our own kids and we need to give them our time and resources ahead of another child. He just did not know how it would effect our current family situation. So he did not want any more kids. Period.
By now my baby was around 2 1/2 years old I had just been hired into a position that was unexpected and everything was put on the back-burner. The desire for another little one was still strong, but I had lots of distractions. I would still stalk adoption sites and daydream.
Then I had a wacky cycle and my period was late, I prayed and prayed that the vasectomy had failed and that I was pregnant (ironically, I prayed every cycle that my period would never show, but it was always like clockwork). Unfortunately, my period did show up, but not before I put in hours of time into searching the internet looking for vasectomy failures. I stumbled across some articles about how expensive vasectomy reversals were and how often they failed. It had never occurred to me that it could even be reversed! A whole new can of worms opened up.
A big can of worms!
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